“BUT I WANTED THAT”: short-sighted faith

“Brothers and sisters, stop being children in your thinking—rather, be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.”

1 Corinthians 14:20

I recently didn’t get some things that I desperately wanted. I’m sure you can relate. We’ve all done it—set our hungry eyes on something and chased after it only for it to slip through your fingers like melting snow. Maybe for you it was a job opportunity, a house, an adventure, a friendship, a relationship, etc. We all have desires, and we all experience disappointment; it’s part of life.

As I laid in my bed crying about my lost desires, Yahweh gave me a picture of a baby sobbing after his toy got taken from him. I thought about how drastic everything is in a baby’s world. They only experience pure emotion. When they laugh, they experience a peak of delight; yet, when they cry, it feels like the world is ending. It’s all they know because it’s all they can comprehend.

When a baby’s stomach hurts, it must feel like they are dying. WHAT IS THIS EXTREME PAIN AHHHH!! They cry because they do not understand that they are just hungry, and after their parents feed them, they will no longer hunger. Now of course we all learn that hunger is merely part of living, and we must eat. We no longer fall apart in tears when our stomachs rumble (Well, most of us. I’m looking you, hangry people.). We learn to understand that food will come again and our world is not ending; it’s part of maturing.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

As I looked at this image of a crying baby, I realized I am that baby. I cannot see past what is directly in front of me. All I know is that what I wanted is gone and I’m crying about it. I do not understand what my Father is doing.

From your precepts I get understanding;

therefore I hate every false way.

Your word is a lamp to my feet

and a light to my path.

Psalm 119:104-105

As I grow up with Abba, I begin to understand that he’s got something else cooking—something better for me. Sure, it’s ok to be sad, but I cannot dwell on it. For Yahweh is good, and we cannot comprehend what he is doing, for we are merely babes.

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward. So let those [of us] who are spiritually mature and full-grown have this mind and hold these convictions; and if in any respect you have a different attitude of mind, God will make that clear to you also. Only let us hold true to what we have already attained and walk and order our lives by that.”

Philippians 3:13-16

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