Ruined By Grace

Grace ruined me.

grace (noun)

  • a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment
  • favor or goodwill
  • a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior
  • mercy; clemency; pardon
  • favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity

ruin (verb):

  • a state of complete destruction
  • the remaining pieces of something that was destroyed
  • the state of having lost money, social status, etc.

me (pronoun)

  • God’s favorite (He told me so)
  • forever changing and racing forward
  • writer, poet, storyteller and adventurer
  • student of wisdom from every and all sources
  • imperfect and ever learning

I do not deserve to be alive, much less enjoying life. The amount of times I attempted to drown out my life through drugs, alcohol and self-loathing, it seems more fitting that I should be locked in a padded cell in a straight jacket than typing a blog in beautiful East Tennessee with a college major in writing communications and 20 countries in my travelling bank.

I should be dead in a ditch somewhere after all the times I dreamt of driving off bridges during a rough battle with depression, but God decided He wanted to use imperfect, selfish, grumpy, depressed and lost me. God took that mess of a human and promised he would finish, demolish, destroy, wreck and ruin her.

I deserved to die from the consequences of my actions, but God invited me to live. He wrecked me completely, and gave me life where I deserved death. He told me to no longer feel shame for my shortcomings and gave me a life worth living with him. He exchanged my plate of death for the free gift of GRACE, which He bought for me when I’ve done nothing to deserve it.

He exchanged his perfect life for my shortcomings, failures, mistakes, brokenness and depression so that I could live in complete freedom. Why would I want to follow anyone else? Jesus covered me in his hard-earned righteousness when I did nothing to deserve it, nor can I ever do anything to deserve it.

I am no longer a slave to depression.

I am no longer a slave to my emotions.

I am no longer a slave to lust.

I am no longer a slave to selfishness.

God redeemed all of my mess and gave me undeserved freedom and life.

Psalm 107

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
    whom he has redeemed from trouble

10 Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
    prisoners in affliction and in irons,
11 for they had rebelled against the words of God,
    and spurned the counsel of the Most High.
12 So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor;
    they fell down, with none to help.
13 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he delivered them from their distress.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
    and burst their bonds apart.
15 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
    for his wondrous works to the children of man!
16 For he shatters the doors of bronze
    and cuts in two the bars of iron.

Because I’ve experienced such freedom, I cannot and will not be quiet. If you’ve experienced something such a beautiful as this, scream it out! Let the world know!


My name is Sarah, and I have been ruined by grace. Praise the Lord!


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